Flirting With Death…

Here I am in life's moment, flirting with death,

I've abused my body for so long, now, out of breath,

Laughing and joking, using words to hide my real feelings,

Only now it's time,

It's time to start the real healing.

I'm sick of flirting,

It's my dark burden,

Like Pearl's of death,

Choking around my neck.

I've succumbed to reality,

I think I need some therapy,

I'm afraid that I'll break down and cry,

Truth is,

I think I'm depressed and I've wasted life,

Standing in the cold, overthinking tonight,

Talking, but finding it hard to raise a smile,

I'm bleeding my heart out for one last time.

Even the thought of opening up is making me feel upset,

I'm a "man", I've kept my emotions at bay and denied help,

I feel like a lost soul,

It's like I'm slowly welcoming my own death,

As the cold wind whistles, the night steals my breath.

I'm sick of flirting,

It's my dark burden,

Like Pearl's of death,

Choking around my neck.

Dear my happy self,

If you're in there, please come back,

Come back to a place you once loved,

A place where overweight is never judged,

Do I judge myself? Yes,

Have I got fight left? Maybe,

Do I hate myself? Yes,

Am I empty yet? Maybe,

Time will tell,

What about my mental health?

Sorry,

I can't answer,

I'm flirting with death,

I'm flirting with death...